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Entries from October 2006

The Puzzle.

October 27, 2006 · 3 Comments

Here’s something I wrote last Halloween that I passed around to my friends. I thought I’d polish it up a little and post it here for your frightful enjoyment. It’s based on a story I’d heard once when I was a child, I hope it puts you in that Halloween mood. And what the hell, critique it if you want. I’m always open to suggestion. Enjoy…

The leaves had already finished falling from the trees. They whipped and danced across the road and around Sara’s car. She would’ve liked to have moved earlier so she could enjoy the warm-colored tapestry of autumn, one of her favorite reasons for moving up to the country from New York City. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the city, as she found herself repeatedly reassuring her friends, but she just felt… trapped, and boxed in all the time. She’d been dreaming about packing it all up and moving to a quiet, out-of-the-way cabin for years now. And nothing like the oppressively meticulous suburbia she grew up in- those places that always reminded her of something out of The Stepford Wives. No, this would be out in rural country; “the boondocks” she’d heard someone call it. The place she found was perfect. Far enough to not have to worry about dealing with neighbors or the incessant passing of cars that lulled her to sleep for seven years, but not so far that people would think she was some kind of crazy shut-in. As an added bonus, she was just over an hour removed from the city, and she made sure all her friends knew that she expected frequent visits.

She couldn’t help but nervously glance at her rearview mirror all throughout the drive, making sure the moving truck she hired hadn’t gotten lost on some obscure back road as they navigated intrepidly through maze-like Putnam County. At first she couldn’t figure out how people could find their way around, but she chalked that up to her years of city life and decided that it would be a welcome change to stop thinking in grids. Besides, she thought, these guys have probably driven to far more obscure places than this.

She felt that rush, that Christmas morning couldn’t-hide-the-smile-if-she-tried excitement when they finally approached her new home. This house was her fist real experience with love at first sight. It was new and different to her, but at the same time familiar and inviting. It was a warm and beautiful dark brownish-red color cedar-and-brick cabin. It wasn’t too big or too small; a perfect fit for a young woman on her own, and just big enough to throw the occasional party. The interior had high ceilings and loft landings on the second floor; little touches that really made her fall in love. The crown jewel of the place though, as the realtor put it, was the panoramic picture window that took up nearly an entire wall in the living room. The view from that window could have been a painting, with a gorgeous vantage of the trees and the lake that made this place so envious. She couldn’t believe anyone would walk away from a house like this. When she asked why the previous owner moved, her realtor explained that the house was owned by an elderly couple who’d lived there for many years, and when the owner’s wife died, he put the house up for sale. “Too many memories, I suppose,” she had said with a sigh.

That did leave Sara with some questions, like exactly how the wife died, and if it had anything to do with the house. She asked her realtor if she knew the couple. “Oh yes,” she chirped, “They were delightful people.” She said that the wife loved jigsaw puzzles, and that she boasted having completed over one thousand. Not much of a socialite, Sara had thought to herself.
Once she pulled up to the house, she started ordering the movers around immediately. She had plenty of time to think about where she wanted everything, and she knew exactly how she wanted to put it all. She just wished some of her friends could have helped her, but conveniently for them, they were all busy.

The movers all wanted to get in and out fast, because one of them heard that a bad storm front was moving in before sundown that was going to last all night. So they packed everything into the house quickly and carefully, and Sara rewarded them with generous tips.
To celebrate her move, Sara broke out the bottle of wine her friends had given her while she unpacked. The previous owner had even left most of the furniture with the house, another reason this move set her back a pretty penny. So, most of her unpacking dealt with her personal items, a great volume of which was her shoe collection-quite possibly the only thing she missed about the city was the shoe shopping- and so a glass or two of wine wouldn’t really get in the way of her unpacking.

When Sara finally started unpacking her clothes, she opened up the closet in the master bedroom. It was impressively roomy, but there on the floor she discovered a small box, forgotten by the last owner. It looked like it was made of marble, and about bigger than an average jewelry box. She opened the lid to find that it was full of jigsaw puzzle pieces. This must have belonged to the owner’s wife, she thought. It might be fun to put together, since the cable won’t be installed for a couple days, and that storm is going to keep me inside all night… It was odd, though. It didn’t look like there was anything on any of the pieces. They looked… blank, like a television that’s been turned off. Sara assumed that that was just a portion of the picture.

So for the next few hours, Sara sat herself down on the couch in front of that beautiful picture window. She started wondering if any animals would pass by and startle her. The thought bothered her a little, so she turned the couch around so that it wasn’t facing the window. Once it got dark, and the storm was in full effect, Sara sat down with her wine, lit a few candles, and settled in for her “puzzle date,” as she jokingly thought of it.

She got to work, beginning, naturally, with the corners and working around the flat edges. The longer she worked on the puzzle, the more she lost track of time, while the thunderstorm raged on incessantly outside that huge window. The further the storm went on, the more she came dislike the window. She felt exposed, vulnerable. Before she knew it, her candles had burned down to the stubs, making the puzzle harder to see. She was matching up the pieces only by edge, wondering what this picture could possibly be. Her only clear glances at it were when lightning would flash and fill the room with a split second of clarity. Despite her progression through the puzzle, she still could not discern the picture. She sat there, completely disregarding all track of time. Glued to this couch, she tried in vain to see what could this damned puzzle could possibly be.

Sara began seeing things in the dark, imagining what the puzzle might look like. A myriad of awful images flooded her mind. With every clap of thunder, every flash of lightning, a new image would emerge in her head, each one more gruesome than the last. She began to grow paranoid, convinced that something was outside the window, but she was too afraid to turn around.
Piece by piece, the puzzle continued to take shape. What is it? What is it?! She began to wonder if the is how the last owner’s wife died; Consumed by this puzzle until she simply wasted away. Or maybe this puzzle drove the poor woman insane, as insane as Sara now felt.

She finally snapped the last piece into place. Her candles had long ago burned out, and she wondered how long she’d been sitting there. It was far too dark to see the puzzle now. She waited for another flash of lightning. The lightning struck, and she grew confused. Another flash and she began to breathe heavily. A third strike and she screamed. She could see the puzzle now, clear as day. The puzzle she had been putting together, the picture on the pieces she had found in that closet hours ago, was her.

It was her, sitting on the couch she had turned around before she sat down, putting the puzzle together. But there was something else. One more flash of lightning, and she began to cry. In the puzzle, behind her, something was outside the window. With tears running down her face, she turned around to face her beautiful panoramic picture window.

The magnificent window exploded in a hail of glass shards. The last thing Sara ever saw was a pair of deep glowing eyes before her screams were silenced.

Categories: Prose

The Achievement of Desire.

October 26, 2006 · 1 Comment

While reading through Rodriguez’s story, I didn’t feel I could relate to much of his story until somewhere near the end, where he mentions the phrase “the great mimic.” Suddenly it’s like he’s summed up my entire academic career between quotation marks. He called the great mimic more of a “collection of thoughts, not a thinker.” Wow, I thought. That is exactly what I am. I have the ability to exude the illusion of knowledge, more easily that I can actually retain that knowledge. I’ve never heard a name put on the unusual condition I’ve always felt I’ve had all through school. I’m the Great Mimic. I suppose it fits; I’ve always fancied myself an actor. I just didn’t know how far I carried it into my life. The day you realize you’re a fraud is a sobering one. I think I need to lie down for a while.

Categories: Philosophical Musings

Poetry is for People with No Television.

October 6, 2006 · 2 Comments

L.H. (f.d.l.)

Of all unwelcome feelings,
Longing is by far the most heinous.
As the heart tries to reach out to you
From within the chest as if to say,
“Behold! Look how I pine for you!”
But it will not be heard,
For it will not be said.
Damn the compulsion to reach out
To put a hand on your shoulder.
Lived alone for so long.
One better off ignorant.
The other better off alone.

Categories: Poetry

Here Comes the Water.

October 6, 2006 · Leave a Comment

The Flood

It snuck up from behind quietly, creeping along like a shadow.
With a baffling suddenness it was upon me
A maelstrom of noise and force and chaos
Pouring into nostrils, ears, and throat.
Surfacing becomes diffucult when the surface cannot be found.
I’m left to contemplate the suddenness of the ordeal.
Standing one minute, overcome the next.
My tenuous grip, my balance robbed so easily.
I’m left to curse your name, to blame your face.
To blame your scent, to blame your frame.
Because I’ve laid eyes on you again,
And suddenly I’m drowning in old feelings.

Categories: Poetry